The Perverted Turtle

One day a perverted turtle showed up on the nice family’s lawn doing the most offensive things the young family had ever seen.   The children cried and the mother made exclamations such as “oh my” and “well I never”.   The father recognized his duty to take charge and said to his family, in the deepest most monotone suburban dad voice he could muster, “don’t look family, it’s a perverted turtle”.  They ignored the turtle the rest of the morning and tried to act normal with each other but it was obvious things weren’t normal.  The tension in their house that morning was unbearable and they all just wanted life to go back to normal.  Unfortunately for them, the family dog had also taken notice of the turtle and it being a dog, took great interest in the things the turtle was doing.  Eventually the turtle did leave to carry on its perverted activities in the depths of murky ponds and near large rocks on golf courses but the dog never forgot the things it saw that day and the family’s life was never the same again.